The Pandora Problem
The Pandora Problem
There is Hope for narcissists.
Are you ready to open the box?
Most of us are scared to death to lift the lid on the Pandora’s box of narcissism. Dealing with predatory people leaves us intimidated, scared, and hopeless.
In this groundbreaking book, Dr. E. James Wilder rips the cover off the dreaded box and gives us a clear view of both the problem and the surprising solution. Dr. Wilder offers us a new paradigm that moves us away from the individualized therapy model toward the need for identity groups that help each other learn how to love our enemies.
You’ll be highlighting insights in nearly every paragraph as you make your way through this fresh approach to a very old problem.
Get the Pandora Problem Companion Guide, too!
Cases of 36 are also available at a 20% discount.
WATCH THE WEBINAR: Deeper Walk hosted Dr. Jim Wilder to talk about his new book. Access the recording here: https://deeperwalkinternational.org/pandora-problem-webinar/
James Wilder (Ph.D., Clinical Psychology, and MA, Theology, Fuller Theological Seminary) has been training leaders and counselors for thirty years on five continents. He is the author of over ten books with a strong focus on maturity and relational skills for leaders, including his coauthored book Rare Leadership. His coauthored book, Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You has sold over 100,000 copies in eleven languages. Wilder has published numerous articles and developed four sets of video and relational leadership training called THRIVE.
He has extensive clinical counseling experience and is the chief neuro-theologian of Shepherd’s House Inc., a nonprofit working at the intersection of brain science and theology. He is also the lead developer of the Life Model, which is building contagiously healthy Christian communities through equipping existing networks with the skills to thrive.
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The Pandora Problem is one of the few books you can pick up, and you are not the same person by the time you put it down. Here we have a resource for our communities to practice. I found The Pandora Problem to be profoundly challenging, eye-opening and inspiring as it often provoked a, "Wow, I needed that!" response in me. The Pandora Problem is deeply impactful because it addresses an age-old problem with a fresh lens that includes Scriptural wisdom and brain science research. All of us can relate to the effects of narcissism in our lives, our relationships, our families and our communities. Here is a clarion call for God's people to peer into a mirror and become the spotless bride God has designed us to be: fearless, joyful, humble and life-giving. Grab some friends and go through this book!
When I first read the title of this book, I didn't understand how narcissism is a Pandora problem. As I waded into Jim Wilder’s explanation, the light came on. If you are living life or working in the presence of a narcissistic leader, it becomes the problem that no one talks about. Everyone thinks about it, but no one will talk about it. With good reason! Talking about it will only make a bad situation worse and will likely jeopardize your job.
Jim Wilder explains that the path to handling narcissism is learning to love our enemies. The same skills and attitudes that help us do that also give us the ability to gently confront a narcissist in a way that looks like Jesus. The problem is, if we are honest, most of us don't know how to love our enemies. I didn’t. Most churches do not teach us how (probably because, like us, most pastors don't know how either). I came away convinced that this should be a part of the curriculum of every church for every follower of Jesus.
Each chapter ends with section containing this very training. I have gone through all 14 chapters of the training with a group of 20+ people in the basement of our home, and it was eye opening and life-changing experience. Much of the work has to do with rooting out the narcissism in my own life. Ouch! This isn't a book to just read; it was written to change our lives. I highly recommend that you read it with a group of friends and do the training together. You will never be the same.
I can confine to less than a half dozen of the all the books I have read that I can say truly changed my life. This book was one of them. The insight into the problems in the church, especially church leadership, the incapacity of current counseling methods to deal with them, in addition to a way to see into ourselves and change and finally, how to create a group identify that can actually heal the curse of narcissism in ourselves and our church communities, should be a must read for anyone serious about changing themselves and the church body.
Narcissism is a hot topic these days, but I dont know of anyone who had a solution before Dr. Wilder wrote this book. I had a part in getting this book out and one of my small groups spent a whole year going through the manuscript. It was extremely transforming. Dr. Wilder uses Scripture and wisdom to help all of us see ourselves, learn to love others who are difficult, and grow in ways that make it easier to speak the truth in love when needed. This book is one of a kind and if people (and churches) will humbly read, study, apply, and practice what Dr. Wilder says here, the world will not be the same. For the first time, I understood the meaning of many verses I had heard (and memorized) all my life. Dr. Wilder takes the "you should" out of these verses and shows us the "how."